My Cancer Journey

March, 2026 Had my third post treatment checkup. We needed to fly to Bangkok again as many oncology tests are not available in Lao PDR. This is 15 months after my last treatment, 2 years and one month since the partial mastectomy and I was considered NED (No Evidence of Disease), and 2 years and 7 months after diagnosis.  One month or so leading up to the appointments are nerve-racking, and I get increasingly stressed the closer it gets. Here is a fairly comprehensive list of my feelings/difficulties - Waiting Preparing  Nerves  Brain fog Headaches - has it metastasized to my brain? Moody Weepy Noticing Jittery  Chills Stomach problems Nausea Anxiety Hyperventilating  No focus  Stressed Short Edgy Angry Worry Snappy Difficulty concentrating  Agitated Sad Exhausted  Self absorbed  Scheduled tests - Blood tests Mammogram Ultrasound of abdomen Ultrasound of breasts Bone density test Follow-up visit with oncologist - The doctor is kind and thorou...

After reading what England's Princess Kate said I had to share it. We do not talk much about life after cancer treatments because we believe everyone is tired of hearing about our cancer at that point. After writing about "the long tail of chemo" many told me they did not realize the difficulties we go through even after the treatments are finished. It is not only the sometimes life long aftereffects of chemotherapy that are difficult. We are reminded every day by scars, medication, looking in the mirror, and fears when we have aches that we would normally dismiss as normal. We never completely return to our old normal.  A dear friend said that, "it’s such a miracle to survive, but almost impossible to put behind us". The most difficult change for me has been how it has affected my brain. Very recently I had an experience that normally would make me laugh and go on with my day. This day however, I cried and could not make myself do anything but go back home, res...