My Cancer Journey

This is a topic I have been thinking about for quite some time. It is difficult to talk about, and even to think about, but I feel it needs to be discussed. Hormone blockers affect everyone differently, but most who take them experience at least some side effects. For me, the worst side effect is not the joint and bone pain or the other physical problems. It is how the brain is affected. Chemotherapy affected my brain in ways that are hard to explain. The loss of function was almost constant: I forgot words and trains of thought, couldn’t remember things I needed or wanted to do, and felt like I was in a fog most of the time. The brain fog was always there but ebbed and flowed with the timing of the infusions. I always knew when it would get worse and that it would soon get better. The effects from the hormone blocker are different. Episodes come and go without warning. They usually don’t last long but are frightening when they happen. Because the brain fog and forgetfulness have worse...

Chemotherapy is not the only source of forgetfulness and overall decline in mental health. Pretty much everything related to cancer can cause stress and poor mental health, from suspicion or diagnosis to life after treatment. I am still in the treatment phase, but hear from those who have completed theirs, that the potential of cancer returning is stressful. Especially when it is time for a checkup with the doctor. During treatments you depend on others for your physical as well as mental needs. This is not easy. Most of us want to be independent, and when you are not, it is difficult mentally. You feel very much out of control. Children who are abused learn to distance themselves psychologically to protect themselves. It is something I am familiar with. Getting treated for cancer is not abuse, but you feel out of control in both instances. I am not able to use the same technique to distance myself from the cancer. It is always with me. I cannot remove myself from it, even temporarily....