My Cancer Journey

Eleven weeks after my last infusion of Kadcyla my body still seems to think I am receiving treatments. Some of the side effects still occur about the same time they did when I was getting treatments. They are not as severe, and do not last as long, but they happen almost like clockwork. My energy level is pretty much back to how it was pre-cancer. Sleeping has never been one of my superpowers, but it got worse when I started getting the infusions. It is sometimes difficult to fall asleep, and sleeping beyond 6:30 in the morning is late for me. Even though I try hard, my body very rarely lets me nap.  The brain fog is almost gone. It feels terrific to be almost back to my normal self. Not having so much brain fog so nice, but it also means my obnoxious self comes out more frequently. Now Craig must deal with me not agreeing with him all the time again. On the good side, I am better able to control my temper. It is easier to keep myself from getting angry and frustrated. The migraine...

Having the port, port-a-cath, was a good decision for me. It provided access to a vein easily so that a nurse did not have to find one every three weeks when I had my treatments. She just needed to find the port and put the needle through my skin. It had a catheter connected to it that accessed a good vein below my left collarbone. It worked perfectly.  Tuesday, January 14, 2025, four weeks after my last Kadcyla treatment, my surgeon removed the purple heart, my port. The port had not hurt, or really bothered me much, but I did not want it in me any longer than I had to.  If you do not use the port for infusions, you need to go to the cancer center to have it flushed with a saline solution every three months to prevent infections. It doesn’t seem like a big deal, but in order to do it, the nurse needs to access it as if you are going to get an infusion. The saline solution “tastes” like they are putting a chemical in your body. It’s nasty. It doesn’t take long, but why go thro...

Chemotherapy is not the only source of forgetfulness and overall decline in mental health. Pretty much everything related to cancer can cause stress and poor mental health, from suspicion or diagnosis to life after treatment. I am still in the treatment phase, but hear from those who have completed theirs, that the potential of cancer returning is stressful. Especially when it is time for a checkup with the doctor. During treatments you depend on others for your physical as well as mental needs. This is not easy. Most of us want to be independent, and when you are not, it is difficult mentally. You feel very much out of control. Children who are abused learn to distance themselves psychologically to protect themselves. It is something I am familiar with. Getting treated for cancer is not abuse, but you feel out of control in both instances. I am not able to use the same technique to distance myself from the cancer. It is always with me. I cannot remove myself from it, even temporarily....

Chemotherapy affects most of your body. It not only kills cancer cells, but also healthy ones. You notice it while going through treatment, but also long after you complete your infusions. Four months after my last chemo infusion I noticed that one of my toenails was darker. It kept getting darker until I felt it was getting loose. This picture was taken five months after my last treatment. It looked like I had dropped something on my toe, but I had not, and it did not hurt. I was mostly concerned that the nail would catch on something and get ripped off. About two months later, seven months after my last chemo infusion, the nail fell off. There was fortunately another one growing underneath. Now, two months later, about nine months after my last treatment, the nail looks normal. I’m happy to have it back. There is a nail on the other foot that looks a little darker than the others. Keeping my fingers crossed that it won’t fall off.  My fingernails have always been hard and strong....

Sometimes when I squeegee the glass door after showering, I have flashbacks to what it was like while I was going through the first set of chemotherapy treatments. After each infusion there were a few days when I was not physically capable of cleaning the door. If I moved at all it was very slowly. Even then I was huffing and puffing with every movement I made. This happened after each of the six treatments I received over 18 weeks. I did a lot of sitting around those days. That is not easy for me; I need to move and be busy, or I get sluggish and depressed. Fortunately I was not like this every day. Although exhausted most of the time I was able to squeegee the shower door and do other things. Some days I was able to take short and slow walks. The fatigue from chemo can last from six to twelve months after you finish the treatments.  Seven weeks after the last infusion, before my energy had come back, it was time for the lumpectomy. This brought issues as well, and fatigue was one...

I had built up my stamina to walk about three miles most days and was excited to be able to slow jog for part of those miles June 20 and 24. That was unfortunately the only days I was able to do this. June 26 the headache and cough got much worse. I took the maximum allowed on the packages of Excedrin Migraine, Tylenol, and cough syrup each day. They helped, but I was still exhausted, got out of breath whenever I moved, coughed whenever I moved or talked, and the headache was almost constant.    Tuesday, July 2, I saw my oncologist in preparation for Kadcyla infusion 6 or 14. She was concerned about the cough and sent me to get a chest x-ray after the infusion. Cough and headaches are side effects of Kadcyla but should not last the full three weeks in between the infusions. What concerned her most was that the worst week was the one just prior to the infusion. This is when I should have been better.    The x-ray showed I might have pneumonitis. Had to look this up - ...

Friday, February 9, the surgeon placed a magseed next to the largest tumor. It is helpful for tumors like mine, that you cannot feel when palpating the breast. It is 5mm (less than .2 inches) and made of surgical grade stainless steel. The doctor places it with a needle after he numbs the area where he will insert the needle. When it is time for the lumpectomy, the surgeon then uses a special probe that makes different sounds depending on how close the surgeon is to the magseed. He uses this together with a sonogram machine to make sure he can also see where the tumor is.   Wednesday, February 14, I was not allowed to eat any solid foods after 9:30pm as I was going to be completely under for this surgery. No liquids after 7:30am on Thursday. I had to be at the hospital two hours prior to the surgery. Sitting around doing nothing is not easy for me, but Craig was there to entertain me :)   The nurse was able to access my port so that I did not need a needle in my arm when they ...