Skip to main content

Chemo Brain

Chemo brain is very real. It is very frustrating. You feel like you are going crazy or are senile. Because it is something that others notice more than the person having it, I asked Craig to tell me what he noticed. The regular font is what he said, and the italics are my comments.

  • It seemed her thoughts had to traverse through mud and bog filled passageways delaying her words and movements. 
    • This is very close to how you feel. My brain truly felt like I was working my way through a fog that did not seem to end. It took me a long time to get a point across, and there were many pauses while I tried to think of words, or even what I wanted to say.

  • It was the same when asking questions or conversing. I could see her mind engaged yet responses and their formulation took more time. A time or two, her mind seemed to freeze up momentarily before taking on a thought or task. 
    • My husband was very patient. It was very difficult to string sentences together, and words did not come to mind easily, even simple ones. One time that comes to mind is ordering food in a fast-food restaurant. I was asked what kind of dip I wanted and could not figure out how to respond. I am glad Craig knows me well and could answer for me as there was a line behind us.

  • Multitasking is one of Suzanne’s strengths. This was not the case after a few days following her infusion treatments. It’s better now though.
    • It was not possible to multitask. My brain would not let me. This is frustrating for me as I usually have more than one thing going at one time. There are still times, almost six months later, when I cannot focus on more than one thing, and even that can be difficult. I have always been a list maker, and it has become even more important now than what it was. I just have to remember to look at the list.

  • Not only physical fatigue, but also it took more effort to focus on and complete tasks.
    • I was very fatigued the week immediately after an infusion, but my energy level never came up to what I was used to. This has not completely gone away either. Tasks can still be difficult to complete as I am not always certain what I am supposed to do.

  • I could tell, because of the effort required to conceptualize a task, it was abandoned or set aside for some time later, hopefully.
    • There were many things that were not completed, or even started as I had no idea how to do them. This applied even to mundane tasks that I had done many times.

  • There were periods of minor malaise.

 

There were many nasty side effects from the chemotherapy, but this was probably the one that was the most frustrating for me. I am a control freak, and not being able to communicate or complete tasks was difficult. Life has become easier, but the chemo brain is not completely gone. I do not know if that is all residual from the previous chemotherapy, or if some of it is because of the current treatments. Chemo has a long tail, and it can take a while before my brain is completely back to normal. Patience, for myself as well as from others, has become more important. It will feel amazing when I am able to use my brain the way I am used to.


Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Second Post-Treatment Checkup - still NED!

My last cancer treatment was December 17, 2024. It was a relief to be finished and not have to go to the cancer center every three weeks. Three months later, March 17, 2025, I had my first post-treatment appointment with the oncologist. At that point it had not been enough time for me to process everything yet, and my brain was not back to functioning completely (it is still not fully normal), so I was happy to see my wonderful doctor and have my blood drawn without having to stay for an infusion. The tests all looked good. Craig retired in February and we had been thinking about what to do. Our children are grown and have their own families. They all live a few hours from us. We love them enormously and love spending time with them, but felt we needed some time to ease into retirement. We had been talking about serving a mission for our church and thought this would be a perfect time. My oncologist gave her approval, so in the beginning of May we got off an airplane in Vientiane, Lao ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Long Tail of Chemo

Eleven weeks after my last infusion of Kadcyla my body still seems to think I am still receiving treatments. Some of the side effects still occur about the same time they did when I was getting treatments. They are not as severe, and do not last as long, but they happen almost like clockwork. My energy level is pretty much back to how it was pre-cancer. Sleeping has never been one of my superpowers, but it got worse when I started getting the infusions. It is sometimes difficult to fall asleep, and sleeping beyond 6:30 in the morning is late for me. Even though I try hard, my body very rarely lets me nap.  The brain fog is almost gone. It feels terrific to be almost back to my normal self. Not having so much brain fog so nice, but it also means my obnoxious self comes out more frequently. Now Craig must deal with me not agreeing with him all the time again. On the good side, I am better able to control my temper. It is easier to keep myself from getting angry and frustrated. The mi...
Post a Comment
Read more

Mental Health

Chemotherapy is not the only source of forgetfulness and overall decline in mental health. Pretty much everything related to cancer can cause stress and poor mental health, from suspicion or diagnosis to life after treatment. I am still in the treatment phase, but hear from those who have completed theirs, that the potential of cancer returning is stressful. Especially when it is time for a checkup with the doctor. During treatments you depend on others for your physical as well as mental needs. This is not easy. Most of us want to be independent, and when you are not, it is difficult mentally. You feel very much out of control. Children who are abused learn to distance themselves psychologically to protect themselves. It is something I am familiar with. Getting treated for cancer is not abuse, but you feel out of control in both instances. I am not able to use the same technique to distance myself from the cancer. It is always with me. I cannot remove myself from it, even temporarily....
Post a Comment
Read more