Exhaustion

Sometimes when I squeegee the glass door after showering, I have flashbacks to what it was like while I was going through the first set of chemotherapy treatments. After each infusion there were a few days when I was not physically capable of cleaning the door. If I moved at all it was very slowly. Even then I was huffing and puffing with every movement I made. This happened after each of the six treatments I received over 18 weeks.

I did a lot of sitting around those days. That is not easy for me; I need to move and be busy, or I get sluggish and depressed. Fortunately I was not like this every day. Although exhausted most of the time I was able to squeegee the shower door and do other things. Some days I was able to take short and slow walks. The fatigue from chemo can last from six to twelve months after you finish the treatments. 

Seven weeks after the last infusion, before my energy had come back, it was time for the lumpectomy. This brought issues as well, and fatigue was one of them. Especially since it was difficult to sleep after the surgery. Less than four weeks after the lumpectomy I had a bad cough and a fever and was diagnosed with Covid. A little over one week after the diagnosis, when I was no longer contagious, I started radiation and Kadcyla infusions. 

My body was put through a lot, and because fatigue is one of the side effects of radiation, I felt exhausted. The radiation causes fatigue, but it is also difficult to sleep because of the open sores. I am fortunate that I heal quickly, so the sores did not last very long after the treatments were finished. The fatigue held on, however.

I will be getting Kadcyla infusions for another three months. They also cause fatigue, but not anywhere near as severe as the previous chemo treatments. There are still days when I cannot accomplish everything that I would like to. They seem to coincide with the infusions, so I am learning to plan accordingly. 

It has now been twelve months since I started the treatments, and I finally do not feel like I am moving through a fog. Even though I am still tired much of the time, I take 1.5 to three mile walks several times per week (and have started slow jogging short distances), attend a weight class for seniors twice per week, and am able to do most things on my to do lists. Some days I am very fast and efficient, and others I move very slowly, but I see the light at the end of this very long tunnel. It feels good to be able to squeegee the shower door each time I get it wet.